Based on my experience, almost everything related to living a full life is relative; there are few absolutes. But one absolute I’ve learned is that there isn’t one thing that works for everyone, and there isn’t one thing that doesn’t work for anyone.
How we evaluate our lives - relationships, health, career, leisure time, purpose, values, possessions, home life, growth, etc. - depends on context and circumstances.
That’s why I love the idea of a continuum, a spectrum, a range, a scale. Such a tool allows me to consider, evaluate, and understand my thinking or preference for virtually anything and everything. And I’ve found that the simplicity of using a 0-10 scale is an ideal choice.
What It Is
In my emotional intelligence work, in order to understand my clients when we get started, I ask a simple question they rarely have trouble answering: “On a scale of 0-10, how would you rate your understanding of emotional intelligence?”
When I’m talking with people about specific relationships they’re in, I ask them, “On a scale of 0-10, how much energy do you get from them?” or “On a scale of 0-10, how much net energy do you get from the relationship?”
When I’m faced with a difficult decision, I ask myself, “On a scale of 0-10, how confident am I of knowing what to do?” When I meet someone new and am wondering whether I want to hang out with them, I ask myself, “On a scale of 0-10, how much have I enjoyed this initial interaction?”
Simply put, the 0-10 scale has become a standard I practice on a regular basis that helps guide the decisions I make, big and small, especially when I start out being indecisive.
Why It Matters
Every day, we’re faced with decisions, options, and questions that shape who we are and who we become. In most cases, any one of those doesn’t matter much, but when we stitch them together, they form the tapestry of our life. We often don’t see or experience it being stitched until we reach a point of asking, “How did I get here?” or “How did this happen?” so if we draw more attention to those decisions, options, and questions, perhaps the tapestry can be more intentionally designed.
There’s plenty of research that shows self-reflection or examining one’s life on a regular basis leads to greater well-being and contentment. It’s why journaling, meditation, mindfulness, retreats, deep conversations, and solitude are hallmarks of people who live a full life and report greater life satisfaction.
It’s in that context that the 0-10 scale can help.
It goes further than “Do I like this person?” or “What’s my favorite part of my job?” or “Do I want to keep living here?” and so on. The scale forces us to reflect and examine ourselves in a very simple and effective way on a daily basis. And when we begin using it repeatedly and start seeing its benefit, it becomes a standard.
Better Than Likert
There are a variety of scales and continuums we can use, but perhaps the most widely used is the Likert scale.
If you’re not familiar with it, the Likert scale is a common psychometric tool used to evaluate everything from mental health to consumer satisfaction to restaurant quality. It was developed nearly 100 years ago and became a standard for companies and organizations to survey their customers, users, and key stakeholders.
You’ve responded to a Likert scale countless times. Very often, there are five or seven options (an odd number has been shown to be more effective than an even number), and most often those options are attached to specific labels. Here are some examples:
Agreement (1-5): Strongly agree, Agree, Neutral, Disagree, Strongly disagree
Frequency (1-7): Almost always, Often, Sometimes, Occasionally, Rarely, Almost never, Never
Quality (1-5): Excellent, Good, Fair, Poor, Very poor
Satisfaction (1-7): Completely satisfied, Satisfied, Moderately satisfied, Neither satisfied nor unsatisfied, Unsatisfied, Moderately unsatisfied, Completely unsatisfied
In my experience, the Likert scale works well when collecting data from many people because the labels set a common standard (even though we all interpret the labels differently). However, I believe the scale is clunky for personal use.
The descriptive words for each rating require us to pause, think, and deliberate. I often find myself wondering what the nuanced difference is between “satisfied” and “moderately satisfied,” and therefore it takes me longer to make a decision.
Even if I don’t use specific labels and just use a scale of 1-5 or 1-7, after defining each extreme I often have trouble distinguishing among the choices from 2-4 or 2-6.”. As a result, I find that it takes me some time to come up with an answer.
But when I ask myself “on a scale of 0-10?” I tend to respond more quickly. That’s because, in my experience, 0-10 is just more intuitive. Using zero gives me the option of nothingness, and ten gives me the option of completeness, which is rarely the case with Likert scales. I also find that 11 choices (remember, zero is an option) are better than five (too few) or seven (too abstract).
As a result, I’ve found that the 0-10 scale is simpler and better than the Likert.
How and When to Use It
You can use the 0-10 scale in countless ways to help you understand yourself, connect with others, and therefore make decisions to live a fuller life on a daily basis.
On a scale of 0-10…
how much do you want to see that friend?
how would you rate your day today?
where would you rate your job satisfaction?
how much do you want to accept that invitation you received?
how hard was that hike?
how was that dinner with your parents?
how well is your bedroom arranged?
how would you rate your motivation today?
how much do you like your new friend?
The list can go on and on.
You can use the 0-10 scale for small decisions (oatmeal or eggs for breakfast?) and big decisions (take the job offer or turn it down?). You can use it when you’re clear-eyed and when you’re confused. You can use it in conversation with others and when you’re self-reflecting.
The Most Important Thing
To me, the 0-10 scale is like any standard: the most important thing is that it’s lived, met, and put into practice. So if you do use the 0-10 scale, my challenge to you is to act on your decision. Not once, not twice, but as frequently as you can.
Case in point: as I was doing my final edits for this article, a friend of mine called to ask if I could play tennis tomorrow morning at 7:30. I told him I was already signed up for a group hike that goes 8-11 a.m. and, since he knows the group, extended an invitation to him to join us. He said he couldn’t devote all that time, therefore, the decision was mine to make.
After a pause, I quickly asked myself, “On a scale of 0-10, how much do I want to go on the hike vs. how much do I want to play tennis with him? The hike was a 7 but tennis was a 9. So I’m meeting him at 7:30 a.m.
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One last thing: on a scale of 0-10, how useful was this article? Please post your rating in the comments along with your reason(s). Thank you for reading!