It's All Semantics
Your words matter.
One of my pet peeves is when I hear, “It’s just semantics” in a dismissive way.
In my experience, people say this when they encounter an opinion, definition, or thought different from their own—often reacting with apathy, distaste, or even indignation. By saying, “It’s just semantics,” they dismiss the idea that words matter.
The irony is that, when they say it, they’re right!
Semantics literally refers to “the branch of linguistics and logic concerned with meaning.’” Yet, when people use the phrase dismissively, what they’re really implying is that words don’t matter - only their meaning does.
The Semantics of Standards
As I’ve continued to think, write, and speak about standards, I’ve become increasingly aware of the language many people use when describing theirs.
Boundaries. Rules. Protocols. Laws. Specs. Specifications. Morals. Values. Norms. Requirements. Preferences. Measures. Agendas. Regulations. Principles. Instructions. Policies. Procedures. Processes. Records. Formulas. Recipes. Ingredients. Guidelines. Ethics. Rituals. Routines.
As you can see, I’ve been keeping track ;-) and I’m sure there are more words people use to describe similar ideas.
Acknowledging my bias, here’s an important distinction: all of those things are standards. But standards aren’t all of those things.
The definition of “standards” that I use comes from the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
something established by authority, custom, or general consent as a model or example
something set up and established by authority as a rule for the measure of quantity, weight, extent, value, or quality
This definition was in one of my earliest articles, linked below, in which I discussed why standards are healthier for relationships over expectations.
For this article, I want to highlight something different: the semantics of my argument that all of the words above qualify as standards, but standards aren’t limited to them.
In the definition from Merriam-Webster, the word authority is used twice. As it applies to the words each of us uses to articulate our standards - boundaries, principles, guidelines, norms, etc. - the authority is ourself. We get to be the ones who define which words resonate with us the most intellectually, mentally, and emotionally.
That, my friends, is all semantics because it’s about the meaning the words hold for us…we can describe our standards in any way we personally want.
SEMANTICS IN PRACTICE
As much as I love dictionaries, I recognize that most of us don’t grow up using them as constant references, even in adulthood. As we encounter different language in our lives - at school, at home, on the playground, at work, online, with friends - we adopt certain words and phrases that matter to us.
For example, I rarely used the word values in my 20s and early 30s. Around the time I turned 40 years old, I noticed I was using the word consistently both in a business context (a company’s core values) and a life context (one’s personal values).
As I’ve gotten older, that word has resonated more and more deeply for me.
I discovered it was the simplest word to describe the different paths my former wife and I had taken individually (diverging values) which ultimately led to our parting ways.
I incorporated it into my work with emotional intelligence, using it as one of two words that define personal clarity (the other word being purpose).
Over months, I thought about and wrote out my personal core values, changing them from words into sentences and paragraphs.
Those 14 statements then became daily reading during my morning routine.
Today, I do workshops on values, have regular conversations with people about theirs, and love discussing how the word itself differs from beliefs and principles and, yes, even standards.
I know that my embrace of the word values is unusual. For many people I’ve spoken with, it’s a simple word that describes what they believe is important in their lives. For me, however, it has very deep meaning:
Values are my essence. They are all that I stand for, they are what dictate my daily behavior and language, and they are the origin of all my standards. When I follow my values on a daily basis, I’m living with integrity. I use them as a measure for deciding which people to spend time with and which ones to not. And I use the word as a standard part of my vernacular.
As you can see, it really is all about semantics.
No matter what words you use to describe your standards, remember: you have many of them. And underlying them are two fundamental truths:
Words matter.
How you live and lead based on those words matters even more.
It’s not “just semantics.” It is semantics.